HOW TO RAISE STEP CHILDREN

I am a mother of three. Two of them were from my husband’s previous relationship.

It was a big challenge to raise them because I was only 22 years old at the time, and also because of the way I was brought up I knew very little about raising children.

My mother had always been a good example to me. An example of faith, she is fighter; she always fought to achieve what she wanted. My father was a good man, but his mistake was that he wanted to protect us at all costs from everything and everyone to the point that he wanted to keep us locked inside. After they met God everything changed. Today they are completely different.

That’s the image I had and brought with me when I left home to get married.

I had no experience taking care of children, therefore problems arose which left me somewhat lost and divided.

I didn’t feel secure enough to rebuke them because I was worried about what kind of image I was going portray to them. I didn’t want to be seen as the wicked step mom. I was consumed by the fear of being misunderstood when I didn’t give them what they wanted.


They were just kids, and my way of dealing with them was way too gentle, but all because I wanted to be the perfect mother. The truth was that up until then I never really took on the role of a real mother.


I didn’t consider them mine to the point that I was afraid something would happen to them while my husband was away. It was hard, but I turned to God for help.

I seek in Him the direction.

I bent my knees and told Him that until now I haven’t been a true mother and I didn’t know how to be a mother, I was afraid. I was afraid of being rejected by them and also afraid that my husband will think I was incapable of raising those children.


It was the best thing I ever did. After that prayer God spoke to me with lots of affection, He told me that just like one day I accepted Him and told Him I belong to Him I must look at these children as if they were your own.


God’s direction was all I needed.

After that, everything changed for my family and me. When the direction comes from God it changes everything. Since then, I started seeking God’s direction in everything that involved my children.

The more I got closer to them the more I lost my fears and began to break the barriers. I didn’t care anymore what they were going to think of me or my actions. I put all my trust in God and everything worked out.

One thing I want to focus on is that in order for me not to have any unresolved issues with them I wouldn’t let anything go, I would resolve everything before going to sleep.

Therefore, there were never any unresolved issues between us. This created a great bond between us, it build confidence to the point that whatever they need they would always come to me first.



Vera Dias



Collaborated by Claudia Brito – Auckland, New Zealand